Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby Gerry_7 » Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:44 am

Nice post!
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby Thrillhouse » Sun Jun 22, 2014 4:58 pm

I've got a joke for you all:

The Minnesota Vikings.


Thank you very much.
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby packfntk » Sun Jul 27, 2014 4:47 pm

This was on Facebook and I thought it belonged here.
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby dr. » Wed Sep 03, 2014 6:19 am

Vikings Fans are are incapable of visualizing any how spontaneously brainless their first down plays are. This is one of the best analysis posts I've seen explaining the Vikings play book.

"The Vikings’ offensive coordinator is Bill Musgrave. Here now is Bill Musgrave’s playbook in its entirety:

Cutback run
Hey, that worked good! Do that again!
Pass-type thing
You never want them to run “Pass-type thing,” especially on first down. Whenever this team passes on first down, a puppy is killed by God. Bill Musgrave killed a LOT of puppies needlessly last season." (http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks ... 1139983032)

I feel as though all of the coaching staff for the Vikings have a look of complete failure anyway (http://www.nfl.com/teams/coaches?coaTyp ... t&team=min.) This excludes Adam Zimmer who clearly looks happy to finally coach the linebackers of a team which has won no superbowls and has only caught a scent of success four times. The Vikings will never amount to anything. For the fans who actually think Jeff Davidson and Hank Franley are doing their job right, I can't wait to see the look on their face when their O-line can't hold up long enough for the fans to comprehend what is happening. Just like the Joke from the OP, the fans are too slow to see their own failures. Their blame on officials surpasses any team in the NFL. :mrgreen: :lol: :AOK
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby raptorman » Sun Feb 01, 2015 9:25 pm

If a 7 course meal includes a Brat and a 6 pack, you might be from Wisconsin.
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby raptorman » Wed Jul 29, 2015 5:33 am

You know what sex in a canoe and Coors light have in common.



















They are both near water.
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby Pckfn23 » Wed Jul 29, 2015 7:27 am

You forgot the imperative "adverb."
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby BF004 » Mon Sep 21, 2015 3:46 pm

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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby raptorman » Thu Jan 07, 2016 3:32 am

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down.
Do you think I could stay the night?
the monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car.
As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.
The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say,
We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, The same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.
The monks again accept him, feed him, even fix his car.
That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.
If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?
The monks reply, You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.

The man sets about his task. Some 4-5 years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.
He says, I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk.

We shall now show you the way to the sound.
The monks lead the man to a wooden door where the head monk says,
The sound is right behind that door.
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.
He says, Real funny. May I have the key?
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.
The man demands the key to the stone door.
The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.
He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.
Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire,
So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,
silver,
topaz,
and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the last door.
The man is relieved to know end.

He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

But he can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
If a 7 course meal includes a Brat and a 6 pack, you might be from Wisconsin.
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby raptorman » Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:46 am

One day at the end of class, little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Little Suzy raises her hand. “My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.” When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, “Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.”
Little Lucy went next. “My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.”
Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story.
Lucy replied, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”

Next up was little Johnny. “My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete.
On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”
The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.
“Well,” Johnny replied, “Don’t f**k with Uncle Ted when he’s been drinking!”
If a 7 course meal includes a Brat and a 6 pack, you might be from Wisconsin.
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby TheGreenMan » Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:17 pm

Any fans?

RIP JustJeff
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby raptorman » Thu Apr 28, 2016 11:42 pm

This came from a Marine's wife. It says it all:

"I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power a few short years ago.
At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Barack Obama took his Oath of Office.
However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the President.
It was then that I realized how far America’s military had deteriorated.
Every one of them missed the #$%!."
If a 7 course meal includes a Brat and a 6 pack, you might be from Wisconsin.
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby TheGreenMan » Thu May 05, 2016 3:18 pm

raptorman wrote:This came from a Marine's wife. It says it all:

"I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power a few short years ago.
At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Barack Obama took his Oath of Office.
However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the President.
It was then that I realized how far America’s military had deteriorated.
Every one of them missed the #$%!."


:lol:
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby raptorman » Tue Sep 13, 2016 7:46 am

I was walking by a fence one day near the old folks home. And I could hear them chanting, 13,13,13 over and over again. So I noticed a small hole in the fence and looked in. Some A**h*** poked me in the eye with a stick. And then they started chanting 14,14,14.

A lesson in minding your own business.
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Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby raptorman » Tue Sep 13, 2016 7:49 am

Coming home from the bar the other night after the game I was pulled over by a cop. He walked up to my window and asked "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?"

I need bail money.
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