Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Cheesy topics (like the Cheese Curds thread) go here. Topics that aren't football related will be moved here as well.

Mmmm.... cheese.

Moderators: salmar80, NCF, JustJeff, packfntk, APB, BF004, mnkcarp

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby BF004 » Thu Sep 19, 2013 8:05 pm

Tornado Warnings for Eastern Minnesota. Everyone is advised to go to the Hubert H. Humphrey Mall of America Field Metrodome as there is no chance of a touchdown there.
Image
Image
User avatar
BF004
 
Posts: 9980
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:38 pm
Location: Galesville, WI

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby Ghost_Lombardi » Thu Sep 19, 2013 9:00 pm

BF004 wrote:Tornado Warnings for Eastern Minnesota. Everyone is advised to go to the Hubert H. Humphrey Mall of America Field Metrodome as there is no chance of a touchdown there.


Know what the difference is between Christian Ponder and a tornado?

Occasionally a tornado sees a touchdown.
Meh.
Ghost_Lombardi
 
Posts: 12595
Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:19 pm

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby BF004 » Thu Sep 19, 2013 9:50 pm

Ghost_Lombardi wrote:
BF004 wrote:Tornado Warnings for Eastern Minnesota. Everyone is advised to go to the Hubert H. Humphrey Mall of America Field Metrodome as there is no chance of a touchdown there.


Know what the difference is between Christian Ponder and a tornado?

Occasionally a tornado sees a touchdown.


What do Christian Ponder and a tornado have in common?

They both blow.
Image
Image
User avatar
BF004
 
Posts: 9980
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:38 pm
Location: Galesville, WI

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby mnkcarp » Fri Nov 08, 2013 5:15 am

This may have already been posted, but...

Ole and Sven in Hell

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?' Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.'

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer. The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?' Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis nice.'

The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.

The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?'

They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl.'
Cheese curds...

are good.
User avatar
mnkcarp
His Royal Pointyness
 
Posts: 10655
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 8:36 pm

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby NCF » Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:56 pm

Every once in a while my mom well send me a good one. Enjoy:

THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A GREEN BAY PACKER FOOTBALL GAME GAME.



THREE MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND THEM ON THE 50 YARD LINE. BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW, THE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY'D GET ANNOYED ENOUGH SO THEY WOULD GET UP AND LEAVE.


IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID,

"I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH . THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE."


THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID,
"I WANT TO GO TO MONTANA . THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE."


THE THIRD GUY SAID,
"I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO . THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE."


THE MOTHER SUPERIOR TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET AND CALM VOICE SAID,



"WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL... THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE!"

Image

Read more. Post less.
User avatar
NCF
 
Posts: 10169
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2012 4:28 pm
Location: Hastings, MN

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby raptorman » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:33 pm

NCF wrote:Every once in a while my mom well send me a good one. Enjoy:

THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A GREEN BAY PACKER FOOTBALL GAME GAME.



THREE MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND THEM ON THE 50 YARD LINE. BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW, THE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY'D GET ANNOYED ENOUGH SO THEY WOULD GET UP AND LEAVE.


IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID,

"I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH . THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE."


THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID,
"I WANT TO GO TO MONTANA . THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE."


THE THIRD GUY SAID,
"I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO . THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE."


THE MOTHER SUPERIOR TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET AND CALM VOICE SAID,



"WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL... THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE!"


Sounds like more of a personal experience of someone.
Since 1994, the QB sacked by Vikings more than any other QB in the league. Aaron Rodgers.
User avatar
raptorman
 
Posts: 6092
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 3:33 pm
Location: Sunny east coast of FL.

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby packfntk » Mon Dec 16, 2013 4:03 pm

After another loss to the Packers, Christian Ponder threw his helmet toward the sideline in disgust. And that too was intercepted.
Image

Wisconsin Cheese is better than California Cheese.
User avatar
packfntk
Super Homer
Super Homer
 
Posts: 9472
Joined: Thu May 29, 2008 3:41 pm
Location: Green Bay Baby!

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby JustJeff » Tue Dec 17, 2013 3:49 pm

packfntk wrote:After another loss to the Packers, Christian Ponder threw his helmet toward the sideline in disgust. And that too was intercepted.


I saw a Tony Romo meme with that :rotfl:
Image
User avatar
JustJeff
Commissioner
Commissioner
 
Posts: 21797
Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:53 pm
Location: Backin' the Pack

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby BF004 » Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:28 pm

A Packers, Vikings, and Lions Lombardi trophies are all thrown off the top of a building, which lands first?
Image
Image
User avatar
BF004
 
Posts: 9980
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:38 pm
Location: Galesville, WI

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby raptorman » Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:00 am

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter', she says.

A little girl raises her hand 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!

'That must've been scary', said the teacher. '

It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... And before he could say 'f***', the Rottweiler ate him!
Since 1994, the QB sacked by Vikings more than any other QB in the league. Aaron Rodgers.
User avatar
raptorman
 
Posts: 6092
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 3:33 pm
Location: Sunny east coast of FL.

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby BF004 » Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:27 pm

Image
Image
Image
User avatar
BF004
 
Posts: 9980
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:38 pm
Location: Galesville, WI

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby Ghost_Lombardi » Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:05 am

Both Denver and Seattle are from states that have legalized marijuana, and both have made the Super Bowl. Upon hearing the news, the state of Minnesota has legalized weed, crank, coke and heroin, and is putting together a pilot program to teach kids how to huff paint.
Meh.
Ghost_Lombardi
 
Posts: 12595
Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:19 pm

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby raptorman » Sat Feb 15, 2014 4:56 am

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh!, Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females", he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone".
Since 1994, the QB sacked by Vikings more than any other QB in the league. Aaron Rodgers.
User avatar
raptorman
 
Posts: 6092
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 3:33 pm
Location: Sunny east coast of FL.

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby packfntk » Tue Apr 15, 2014 2:25 pm

The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the
first woman as President of the United States.
A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her
father in Milwaukee and asks, "So, Dad, I assume you will be
coming to my inauguration ?

"I don't think so. It's a long drive; your mom isn't as young as
she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is
acting up in my knee."

"Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll send Air Force One or another
support aircraft to pick you up and take you home, and a
limousine will pick you up at your door," she said.

"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your
mother wear ?"

"Oh, Dad," she replied, "I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown
custom-made by one of the best designers in New York ."

"Honey," Dad complained, "You know we can't eat those rich foods
you and your friends like to eat."

The President-elect responded, "Don't worry, Dad. The entire
affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. And
I'll ensure your meals are salt-free. Dad, I really want you to
come."

So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on January 20, 2024
arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the
United States.

The parents of the new President are seated in the front row.
The President's dad sees that a Senator is sitting next to him
and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman up there with
her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispered in reply, "Yes, sir, I sure do."
Dad says proudly, "Her brother played football for the Packers".
Image

Wisconsin Cheese is better than California Cheese.
User avatar
packfntk
Super Homer
Super Homer
 
Posts: 9472
Joined: Thu May 29, 2008 3:41 pm
Location: Green Bay Baby!

Re: Packer Joke Thread (For Raptorman)

Postby BF004 » Fri May 23, 2014 4:54 pm

Image
Image
Image
User avatar
BF004
 
Posts: 9980
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:38 pm
Location: Galesville, WI

PreviousNext

Return to Cheesehead Chatter - PG

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest